Vandal Armed with a Mop - Video Play-by-Play

An apparently intoxicated gentleman armed with the business end of a mop tried unsuccessfully to break into a pickup truck parked in a lot at KIRO Radio in Seattle. And in a technological win for radio — there’s video.

Better yet, the nearly two minutes of black-and-white surveillance footage gets a play-by-play for the ages from KIRO personality John Curley. As the man repeatedly bangs the mop handle against the driver’s-side window of the truck, stumbling in the process, Curley counts the hits.

“If you’re counting at home, that’s 14 blows against the window with the mop,” Curley says. “Raining blows down upon the window! 1! 2! 3! …”

The man eventually gives up on the truck and eventually tries to climb onto a small rooftop nearby. He falls off and lies motionless in the parking lot as the video wraps with Curley saying “somebody get some salmi and cream cheese and rub it all over his face!”